Squirm
an erotic parody
by Cari Silverwood
A parody of everything great and weird in erotic romance that could be stuffed into one book without it exploding.
For some girls, one tentacle isn't enough.
Having a bad day isn't good but when Virginia Chaste has a bad day, she gets felt up by a tentacle monster. If it simply has to happen, let it at least be a billionaire and a hot biker.
Virginity isn't all it's cracked up to be and her search for the Holy Grail of Erotic Romance, the ten inch purple-headed schlong, may have finally borne fruit.
Yeehaw! Playing hide the tentacle has never been so much fun.
Virginia swept back her long blonde hair and smiled as enticingly as she could at the man on the other side of the chain mesh gate. Her little black dress was fine but the six inch red stilettos were going to kill her any second. He grinned back, anchoring his fingers high in the mesh, leaning on the gate, and exuding eau de biker. The muscle of his flexed and tattooed bicep shone under the florescent light.
“C’mon in. We don’t bite much. Name’s Jace.”
She breathed in again, swooned, then swiftly recovered and slipped past Jace into the garage.
Eau de Biker. Mmm. Oil, leather, and beer smells always did it to her. Her panties had wet through in an instant.
But, she had a job to do.
The garage was dark, dingy and filled with testosterone-hyped tatted up bikers. They roamed across the concrete floor checking out the chromed bikes like a pack of thirsty hungry snakes let loose on a Sunday picnic of virginal squeaky mice.
She shook her head, knowing she’d imagined that with way too many adjectives. Sometimes her imagination went a little gaga.
Past the knowledge that she was here to look for Cyndie, she wondered, ever so hopefully, if among these men she would find her holy grail – what she’d been saving herself for from the day she opened the pages of her first romance novel – the man with the ten inch purple-headed schlong.
Fabio with his flowing locks could take a hike.
Cari Silverwood is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of BDSM stories and dark erotic fiction.
She writes the way the world should be - dangerous and sexy with bullets piercing the darkness and lovers wrenched close by ropes. When you need escape, when you need that rough lover to bring you to your knees, here you will find stories to singe your fingers. The taste of adventure, the tang of BDSM, the burn of fantasy run wild. Brace yourselves, if you dare to read.
And...in this real world, she has a lovely family in Australia, with the prerequisite teenager who dwells in the dark bedroom catacombs...a husband who raises eyebrows when he catches glimpses of what she writes, and a menagerie of other animals barking, meowing, and swimming about the place.
Website: www.carisilverwood.net
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CariSilverwoodAuthor
Twiiter: https://twitter.com/CariSilverwood
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