Love in the RV Park: A Romance for Men
by Jeffrey Ross
This quirky and fast moving romance revolves around passionate lovers in tangled and mostly unfulfilling relationships. The tale is complete with hot housewives, rock musicians, exotic dancers, motorcycles, steamy nail polish-melting love scenes, hard drinking college professors, hybrid alien children, a romantic bug exterminator, girl fights, a New Year’s Eve brawl, religious zealotry, prophecies (The Temple of Just DOET) —and more. Ultimately, Love in the RV Park is about the male perception [misperception?] of the female psyche.—and the novel attempts to answer an age-old question: What do women want? Laugh or cry—you’ll come away enlightened after reading this zany romance.
Melting Toenail Polish
Adam’s Place, December 26th
Even though it was a short winter day, Adam had been busy patching big holes in the street which looped through the park.
His hands were sore, too, from doing a lot of caulking on the Rec Hall doorframe.
But the big caulking job wasn’t finished yet.
Coming in late, and tired, he ate some left over Chinese food and took a long, steaming, hot shower. He cleaned himself thoroughly. Everywhere.
Leah, wearing silk pajamas, was painting her toenails, watching TV, and thumbing through a book.
Forty-five minutes later, Adam was enjoying the evening with Leah, who had fallen asleep on the bed, knees up, while reading Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby.
Adam nibbled on her ear lobes—no response.
He stuck his tongue in her rum-flavored belly button—a murmur.
He licked the inside of her cocoanut smelling calves—husky, labored breathing.
He kissed her freshly painted toenails—Bingo!
He looked up, between her perfect knees, and saw her smiling face.
She was smiling because wet toenail polish had smudged his lips. She was not so pleased her paint job had been messed up. Oh well.
Their loving was swift, powerful, epic, and glorious—a locomotive at full throttle, thrashing through the night, trackless and pounding—Fiery Power!
Wintering cardinals, perched on ice-glazed willow branches just outside the trailer, watched through the window, chirping and smiling. Their red heads bobbed, their clutching claws stretched and eased, syncopated. The birds occasionally shrieked with obvious hot-feathered delight.
An early morning sun, a dull red blossom, tired and limp, found Leah and Adam content, cuddling in a pool of molten polish.
Steam curled up out of every un-caulked crack in the travel trailer. Not a bit of ice remained on the windows. Oh My.
Jeffrey Ross, who resides in Arizona, is a writer, rockabilly musician, and former full-time community college teacher. He has had four "Views" pieces published on InsidehigherEd.com, has authored and co-authored several national and international op-ed articles on community college identity, purpose, and culture, and has recently published numerous parody poems and articles on the Cronk Newshigher education satire website. Ross co-authored the comic and critically acclaimed campus novel College Leadership Crisis: The Philip Dolly Affair (Rogue Phoenix Press, 2011).
Blog Open Salong http://open.salon.com/blog/slipdoc
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